He thought he was going to lose his mind – and not only his mind but his soul too. He felt estranged from himself. His great dreams, his aspiration to true wisdom, all that led him on to this journey were about to collapse in a crushing failure. He could see no way out, no hands were reaching for him. He was all alone; he had played the Devil’s game and he lost.
He was feeling sorry for himself. He had naively thought that things were falling in their place, that he had finally found his path. Now, he knew how miserably he failed. He was far from achieving true wisdom or from building a future for himself.
His hands were shaking. All that led him to here and now, all he wanted to forget, vividly passed in front of his eyes and further infuriated him. He was angry, outraged. He wanted to bang his head on the wall, smash everything around him into pieces, seek relief and absolution in destruction.
Nausea came unexpectedly. He felt a bitter taste rising from his gut and rushed to the restroom of the small restaurant where he had been sitting for the last hour.
When he saw himself in the mirror over the sink, he froze. He stared at his reflection for a long time and then felt his right hand clench into a fist, his arm stiffen and slowly move up, and he hit the mirror with tremendous force, cracking it into a thousand pieces.
Only the janitor cleaning the toilets had seen what he did. He watched him for a while with scared eyes and finally worked up the courage to talk to him in a quiet voice.
“You OK, bro?”
He was still looking at the mirror, his reflection now distorted by the cracked glass but he felt better, somewhat lighter.
“I am OK now,” he replied, “much better.”
At number 16, the Tower will necessitate the experience of a staggering change, and all that is deceitful and erroneous will be left in its ruins.
The encounter of the Fool with the Devil was a sign that he was at an unexpected stage of his journey. Just when he thought he had left his old self behind, made progress in his spiritual journey and could find peace, he had faced the hypocrisy within him. This was his downfall. Just like the Tower card depicts…
The Tower appears as a natural consequence of self-deception, of the wrongs you thought to be right and the lies you believed. All that is untrue is bound to fall, to disappear and to change.
For instance, perhaps you do not really love your wife or husband. Or your job has become a headache. The values you pretend to believe are actually imposed by others. An illness you have preferred to neglect is about to recur.
Or it is the exact opposite… Just when you think you were loved very much, your lover is in love with another; or as you make plans of promotion, your boss is figuring out how to fire you. In brief, this lie might belong to you, or to another, it might be created for acceptance in social life, or the product of a well-meaning dream… Yet while you keep deceiving yourself, a moment will come when you can no longer believe this lie, and even if you try to believe it, it will be impossible to live with it.
This awareness and the breakdown that follows in its wake will no doubt be disturbing, painful and sorrowful. Hard times are ahead, that much is inevitable. However, although it may be painful to see reality, it is necessary to reach the truth. And whatever the outcome, it is better than living with lies. In the final analysis, the chaos brought on by this collapse will eventually subside and open a new page for you.
The Tower card shockingly reveals false thoughts, beliefs and habits; and forces you to accept that lies do not stand a chance in the face of truth. The ruler of this card is the warrior Mars, the planet of courage, anger and violence.
Although the Tower card might seem like the thing that makes you hit rock bottom, it is in fact the reason for you to rise from the depths. As you put an end to artificiality, it takes you towards growth and enlightenment. It allows values that you can love and believe in with all your heart and intelligence to enter your life. By helping you placing the stones in the right places to build the doors and windows of a new world, it triggers a new experience.
If you pass through this process, do not forget that great steps come at great prices in order to accept and cope with difficulties.
This period that will teach you a very important lesson is as risky as it is chaotic. If rather than progressing with hope and honesty you are wrapped by the warmth of lies, it is time to shake off this state of affairs. Keeping in mind that all creation is born of destruction, gather your courage and do not delay your awakening. The silence after the storm is much more peaceful than the silence that comes before.